My daughter and I have been involved in beauty pageants for about seven years now. When someone asks me, what is your daughter into, and I say she does pageants, I just get "the" look. You know the one. They might as well speak it out loud, "oh, you do those." The vision they have in their mind immediately turns to Toddlers & Tiaras. In my opinion, this show ruined what pageantry really is about.
Pageantry for us is a sisterhood. We end up traveling around to pageants and the same groups tend to travel around to the same pageants. We have become more than friends, we're more like family! When newcomers come to a pageant, we make sure to introduce ourselves and make them feel at home. We were all new once upon a time. What's the saying, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Truly words to live by.
When one of us hurts, we all hurt. We've lost special friends to horrible diseases. We all came together for these families losses because it meant we lost a very special friend as well. We also celebrate wins and good news among each other. Consider it like the pageant grapevine. If one of our pageant sisters wins, we have just as much celebration for them as if we'd won it ourselves!
If you know anything about pageants, you know we compete in what is called "Nationals." This is where all age groups of winners from around the US come together for a few days and compete. I hate to even use the word compete because it's more like a few days of fun, not competition! The memories we take away from Nationals are ones that will stay with us for a lifetime and it's because we all came together as a family, we supported each other, and we had fun.
I can remember a time when my daughter was scared to death to speak in public or open up to people. After our experiences in pageantry no one would probably believe me if I told them that today! Her favorite part of pageants is interview, the part that scare most people to death. She has had to do so many interviews in pageants that now it's second nature to her. I no longer worry about future job interviews for her when she begins her transition into the "real world."
So many celebrities even today are speaking out against beauty pageants. They are saying they are ruining our girls. If indeed they are ruining our girls, I'd like to share a list of the tragedies and horrible results that I see.
10 Ways Pageants Ruined Me
Originated from Keali Lay
1) They totally depleted any desire I had to settle for mediocre. Average. Just ‘okay’. Status quo.
2) They destroyed my shyness and anxiety I had towards interacting with people my own age without constant fear of judgment. That being said…
3) They also screwed up any hopes I ever had of worrying about interviews or addressing adults. Speaking with superiors was already one of my strengths, but now it is a skill I have refined and honed so much that I actually look forward to tough questions and serious discussions.
4) They shut down any fears I had about singing with an audience. I am no Aretha, Carrie, or Celine, but how many people actually conquer that fear in their lifetime? I guarantee a large majority of them are Miss America girls.
5) They ruined my clumsy, awkwardly tall presence and transformed it into a poised and graceful ease.
6) They diminished my physical insecurities. I walked on stage in front of hundreds of people, on multiple occasions, in a bikini. Cellulite, butt glue, spray tan and all. In 5 inch platforms. With my dad watching.
7) They took away my ability to put down other women without a second thought. I can no longer point out their weakness without A) acknowledging my own or B) celebrating their strengths at the same time.
8) They totally messed up my inability to accept that you will not always be the best, the most beautiful, the most talented, or the most put together. Pageants taught me to understand losing is a big part of life, and that you can do anything and everything in your power to make a dream come true and sometimes it still just may not be enough. And that’s okay.
9) They drained any chances I had of missing out on meeting some of the most amazing, encouraging, and inspiring women I’ve ever met.
10) They 100% RUINED any chance I had of not completely owning what I believe, what I say, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.
I don't know about you, but I rather like what's rubbing off on my child!
May your days be filled with BLING!
- Dedicated to a beautiful beauty pageant angel in heaven, Sydney Ridings
Laurie
L&M Bling
www.LMBling.com
